Call To Arms

For better or worse, I see the glass half full. It’s my foundation, it’s how my parents raised me. I was also raised to be a gentlemen and be understanding in everything I could. And something else, that is just now coming into focus, is how to be a man.

Part of the reason I’m disgusted with some people and the world in general is that people hide. They don’t focus on honesty anymore, they want everything under the carpet. They want to live life in the shadows. They don’t want to be seen. They want to choose their own way of life with their hands over their ears. They want to get what’s theirs, and not care about what everybody else might be going through.

And I’m finding out that the men, the people that lead the world, are almost extinct. We’ve got this filter on our eyes, where we automatically look to see how corrupted this person is, how deep the person has gone. Nobody cares about honesty, integrity, courage anymore. Nobody really wants to search for someone that they can trust to tell them that they’re doing something wrong. Nobody wants to stand up on their own two feet and realize what’s going on. No, the only people that do that are usually labled as your mom and dad, and even then they’re criticized.

WHAT IS THIS?!? How the hell did this become commonplace? How did losing control of your life become some amazing thing that you idolize in your life? How the hell does that make you happy? How the hell does that fix the problem? How the hell does that not burn bridges, your closest friendships, your life? How can you lie to me and say that’s your choice and your free to make it, when what you’re doing is throwing your choices away?

I’m not going to tell you that I’ve been in your position, that I’ve gone to parties and got wasted, that I stopped caring about my life and lived a part of my life completely without rules, that I didn’t care what I lost because I was in the moment. Because while some parts of that might be true, that’s pointless. I don’t need to experience any of that to know exactly how you’re throwing away everything you wanted and becoming the person you hate.

Maybe you never had a chance to meet someone like me that will stand up for the right morals, who will live a real life without what you destroy yours with. Maybe you’ve become as lost in this world as I feel. If that’s you, then know that not everyone is the same, and my life is pure evidence of it. And I’ll tell you right now the only reason I’ve stayed this way is because of my God. You can give me all the excuses why you think what I hold onto is fake, but the truth is that you have nothing to say to me, nothing to say until you actually try it. My God is real. My God put it on the line for everybody, and forces nothing. He gives us chances, forgiveness, and the undying love that we all crave. And you have nothing else to say to me until you give Him an honest shot.

I am in a rage over this. There is not enough men on this earth to lead, because most of them are cowards. The ones that are honest and really do try to lead are shot down before they say anything, and then the fakers steal the spotlight and give us their twisted disgusting version of honesty and truth, and because of that we are lost. And because of that sad fact, is why I see the glass half full. That’s why I will always see the good in people. That’s why I will never be afraid to keep my eyes open, because truth gives me the courage to get past the pain.

pause -

Everything is wonderful. YOU are wonderful. And don’t you flippin forget it you amazing piece of a human being. Yes, I’m talking directly to you, you cannot deny this.


Now that I have spoken these words of truth, I wish you well and hope your life is going well. And if it isn’t, then keep the faith because it will get better if you give it a good honest try. And if you’d like to talk about what’s up, talk to me cause I’m here with an open ear friend.





Let’s live life.

Hashin It Out

Everybody knows what a Christian is supposed to be, what the philosiphy is and such. But there are so many different ideas on how it should look like. SO many. This pondering started out as a pet peeve, and then transformed into an intense quest to find (at least for my own life) the right way to live in this world and have the right relationship with my Creator.

I grew up in a Christian home with traditional Christian parents, that tried to raise me on such things like white boy 80's Gospel music and took me to the first hour service, when all the old people went. I don't know if it's just my personality or the way I was brought up, but since hitting my teenage years I've become quite resistant to any tradition that doesn't involve a lot of passion and energy, and are led by people that don't try that hard to maintain the quality of that tradition. People that skim any of that become targets of deep-rooted annoyance in my eyes.

Up until this point, I've been fed how to live my life. I've had guidelines and advice given to me, that I blindly accepted. Now, I'm not saying at all that the Christian belief I've been living out all these years is wrong, or that my past mentors and people I've taken advice from were wrong at all. What I am saying is I'm at the point in my life where I question and contest everything that I believe in, because I'm making choices that will affect my entire life and I need to know that what I believe in is something I can rely on. I need to know that my core belief and passion is being lived out and displayed in my life in the right way, without stereotypes, without hiding, and without doubt.

You hear these questions all the time, what's it like to be free in Christ, how do you live your life for Him, how do you evangalize? In my case, you can read about it all you can in the Bible, you can hear as many solutions as you want from all the motivational speakers in the world, but you can not know it until you involve yourself honestly and entirely to finding the answer. I know there's people that read a verse out of the Bible and they just get it and that's how their lives work, but from what I've noticed, most people have to be weakened for a long time before they start to be enlightened by anything. Some people get revelations from God in the weirdest ways, and some get it from hard times and being broken so He can change us and open us up.

Yknow sometimes I have the fear that people that know me, and believe in God like me, think that I'm trying to shirk away from what I say I believe. And I'll admit I'm not doing everything right currently, but most people don't know that :). The bottom line is that what I'm doing is what I'm doing, I have not turned my back to God, and I know what I'm doing is right. I know that it's right because I see the blessings that God continually gives me, the new doors He's opened up in other ministries, and the new hope that He has given me after the betrayals I recieved.

This I encourage you with: follow God with everything you know. Treat what people say as advice, unless it comes straight from the Bible (words directly from God). Stay away from stereotypes and closed ways of thinking, because they will put walls up. Don't be afraid to make a mistake, but never forget to learn from it and be a better person becasue of it. And, if you believe like me, never turn your back on God, because you'll be left in the dark.

Coming To The Revelation Point

I'm realizing that what people go through, the reasons for why they're like they are, why they act the way they do, is their own business, and you have no right for need to know unless they've committed a felony, and then the judge weeds it out of them.

I'm realizing that who you are will be determined by what you accept, who you do and don't trust, what your past influences have been, and what your perspective on life is. All these things combined create a person, and therefore it's impossible to say that what they've been through means nothing. Compared to your experience or others it may seem like nothing, but to them, it's part of who they are.

I'm realizing that being judged is painful, but if given, accepted, and handled in the right way, can be miraculous. But judgement is best given between friends, it becomes a two way street of understanding. I'm also realizing that if you're not being judged somehow, you're quite ignorant.

I'm realizing that there will never be an end to me finding new things. And if I stop wanting to change, then I will be quite ugly and nobody will like me, not even myself. But I realize that people also need to have something to hold onto in the midst of the change, or they will die off faster than a dandelion in the wind.

I'm realizing how people are blinded by pain, how broken relationships form a person, how tragedies decimate the heart, how bitterness kills joy, and how lies kill lives. But in the same moment, I'm also realizing how courage, hope, faith, and love are so badly needed for everybody, no matter what they've done. Without these things in someone's life, bitterness, fakeness, and despair begin to become all that person sees.

I'm realizing that I can follow God with everything that I am, still give courage, hope, faith to anybody that's asking for it, and still be anybody I want. And I can do this by trusting God to give me, in time, the passions that are from my heart, not from what I see around me. I will find the person that I truly am not from what I'll learn on the job, from school, or from what people think I should be. I will learn through my experinces with people, with points in my life that show me what I want, who I am, and what I believe in. It will be ever changing, I'm pretty sure of that. And it will always be a challenge. It will never be what the commercial Christian collective says it should be, it will not be what my parents think it should be, it will not be what any of my mentors or friends think it should be. It will solely be what God has designed for me, and it will be good. It will be amazing, satisfying, and complete for my soul. His plan and direction will find peace in my heart, and I will continue on the path I'm on with peace, with strength, and in love.


This, in my opinion, is a true rock star.