There is such a thing as cause and effect. Therefore, if you want something to change badly enough, you need to create the cause and the action for that change to be set in motion.
I've seen that in the last 10 months, God has radically changed me from the inside out, and the outside in. And He ain't done yet. And I've been fighting and rebelling in different ways when it comes to that change. But now I've come to a point where, I see where this is going. And I'm beginning to let Him do what He was doing anyway, with no resistance.
So, fair warning to all of you that know me: this pattern of changing is going to continue, but in earnest from now on. And I shall not speak of what it might be. Some of it will be subtle, some will be outrageously obvious. Some of it you may not care about. But, there shall be change. Not the same change Obama's talkin about, mind you.
And as I've seen all these things in my life played out, I remember one certain story from the Bible; When God promises David the rule of Israel, and then Saul is wanting him dead. He's on the run from the thing he's been promised, and there seems to be no justice. But David still fights on in God's name. David is not a perfect man, but in his heart he is as faithful as he can be. And then, as he's about to just give it up, God gives it to Him, just like He promised.
God didn't do that on purpose, just to prove David wrong, or mess with him. It was because God does things in His timing, and we don't know the better until He's opened our eyes, usually after we're done with the journey. And this is why, in all the chaos and confusion, I always have confidence and courage in my God, because He doesn't leave, doesn't deceive me, and will not hold back the good things meant for me.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
At the halfway point
So it's October, and a lot has happened. Time for an update...
-Haven't found a steady job yet, but God's been keepin me rollin carefree. There's a church in Tracy called New Hope Community that's been a good blend for me, and likewise for them. For the few times I've played there, it's been awesome worshipping God with them.
-I'm goin back to college, I'm pretty sure. I figured out I want to be a history teacher in high school, and that's only gonna take 5 years. That's a lot, but it's better than the psychology degree that I wanted. Or no degree at all.
-I've been writing more songs recently, and I now have enough songs to do a full-length CD I feel. Unfortunately, my PC's been shot to hell so it's not possible for me to record on it like I did before. Drat. Well, in the future anyway I'm planning on recording them all. For my songs I've already recorded and put out there, click these blue underlined letters.
-I went to Idaho to say hi to Jessica when she was on break. And it started snowing, in the middle of October. Based on that trip, I've decided that when I settle somewhere, it has to be a place that gets snow in the wintertime. None of this hot-all-the-time-and-no-snow-ever weather that I get here in SacTown and down south.
-I've decided to move to Fresno. Yes, Fresno. There's something in Fresno that God called me to, but I don't know what it is yet. Yeah, that pretty much sounds psychotically insane, but the truth is in the summer, God told me, and I have total peace about it. I still have yet to find a job and a solid place to live down there, but I know by the time January comes I'll be moved out of Roseville and living 3 hours south. Which leads me to my next point...
-As of this Wednesday, I will not be in The Corey Nitschke Experience anymore :(. This decision, out of any of them, was the hardest to make. It took a serious amount of prayer, guidance, and sucking-it-up to come to this decision. These guys are my brothers and I shall seriously miss playing with all of them. But hey you never know...we might get back together in 25 years for a reunion tour, when we're all wrinkly and the sound systems sound better. And you should still listen to my band's music. You ALL should.
And those are the general events of my life right now. God's got it all, and I'm followin His footsteps and enjoyin the ride. Now onto the second half of this journey.
-Haven't found a steady job yet, but God's been keepin me rollin carefree. There's a church in Tracy called New Hope Community that's been a good blend for me, and likewise for them. For the few times I've played there, it's been awesome worshipping God with them.
-I'm goin back to college, I'm pretty sure. I figured out I want to be a history teacher in high school, and that's only gonna take 5 years. That's a lot, but it's better than the psychology degree that I wanted. Or no degree at all.
-I've been writing more songs recently, and I now have enough songs to do a full-length CD I feel. Unfortunately, my PC's been shot to hell so it's not possible for me to record on it like I did before. Drat. Well, in the future anyway I'm planning on recording them all. For my songs I've already recorded and put out there, click these blue underlined letters.
-I went to Idaho to say hi to Jessica when she was on break. And it started snowing, in the middle of October. Based on that trip, I've decided that when I settle somewhere, it has to be a place that gets snow in the wintertime. None of this hot-all-the-time-and-no-snow-ever weather that I get here in SacTown and down south.
-I've decided to move to Fresno. Yes, Fresno. There's something in Fresno that God called me to, but I don't know what it is yet. Yeah, that pretty much sounds psychotically insane, but the truth is in the summer, God told me, and I have total peace about it. I still have yet to find a job and a solid place to live down there, but I know by the time January comes I'll be moved out of Roseville and living 3 hours south. Which leads me to my next point...
-As of this Wednesday, I will not be in The Corey Nitschke Experience anymore :(. This decision, out of any of them, was the hardest to make. It took a serious amount of prayer, guidance, and sucking-it-up to come to this decision. These guys are my brothers and I shall seriously miss playing with all of them. But hey you never know...we might get back together in 25 years for a reunion tour, when we're all wrinkly and the sound systems sound better. And you should still listen to my band's music. You ALL should.
And those are the general events of my life right now. God's got it all, and I'm followin His footsteps and enjoyin the ride. Now onto the second half of this journey.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
the best months of the YEAR
So I just realized this...
October, November, and December have to be the BEST months of the year. Hands down, ladies and gentlemen. Why? I'll tell you why...
Halloween is the adrenaline holiday. You dress up as people you wish you were, little kids run around outside goin door to door askin for candy, and the people that are too mature for that party it up with candy. I consider it (annually) the most high-strung night of the year.
And then you've got Thanksgiving, where you eat whatever and don't care how fat you get that day. It also involves football, people getting together and it's bonding time. Always a fun time, and I mean that in every sense of the world
And then...THEN you have Christmas, which has gotta be the best day in the history of days. Why? Cause it combines both Halloween and Thanksgiving together, and we also celebrate Jesus and how He came into the world (for all of you that are atheist, you get to celebrate a fat guy in pjamas). IT'S GENIUS! And then five days after that it's New Years day, which also means huge partying, and also a new cycle of things. Always good.
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselfs. We're about to enter the best three months of the whole year. Get psyched :D>
October, November, and December have to be the BEST months of the year. Hands down, ladies and gentlemen. Why? I'll tell you why...
Halloween is the adrenaline holiday. You dress up as people you wish you were, little kids run around outside goin door to door askin for candy, and the people that are too mature for that party it up with candy. I consider it (annually) the most high-strung night of the year.
And then you've got Thanksgiving, where you eat whatever and don't care how fat you get that day. It also involves football, people getting together and it's bonding time. Always a fun time, and I mean that in every sense of the world
And then...THEN you have Christmas, which has gotta be the best day in the history of days. Why? Cause it combines both Halloween and Thanksgiving together, and we also celebrate Jesus and how He came into the world (for all of you that are atheist, you get to celebrate a fat guy in pjamas). IT'S GENIUS! And then five days after that it's New Years day, which also means huge partying, and also a new cycle of things. Always good.
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselfs. We're about to enter the best three months of the whole year. Get psyched :D>
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Self-Solitary Confinement
I'm in the middle of self-solitary confinement. There has, and will continue to be a lot of changes in my life until this year is over, and I need some serious time with the Big Guy. But I do have this to say, for me and for you.
The Old Testament of the Bible is the OG when it comes to God's love and redemption. Jesus brought it down to a more personal level, and threw the deathblow of sin, but God would always redeem His people. God would wait until the last person that still followed Him was out of range, and then He would have some foreign army attack Jerusalem. He would hear and redeem His people when they called out to Him. Anybody's heart that was turned to Him, He would rescue. Now, the question that stands out to me: what does a heart after God look like, and what does it cost?
It says in the Bible that David (son of Jesse, heh heh) was a man after God's own heart. God stated that, knowing exactly what he was saying. David wasn't perfect all the time, he was one of the biggest hypocrites at times. But he would always come back to God, he would never run from Him. He had complete faith in God's plan, and even though he was promised Israel, he held himself back from killing the king that wanted David dead, twice. In his despair and depression, he would cry out mercy to God and still worship with all his heart. You could not hold this man back from praising God. The question in the back of my head is, what did it take?
Look at John the Baptist. Look at all the OT prophets. Look at Jesus. They all would spend time quiet, away from everything they knew. So that they could find the quiet voice, the voice that Elijah was listening for on the mountain. I'm tellin you, those little books they gave out to me when I was 13, called quiet times, I never gave them two blinks of an eye. They're only supposed to last 10, 15 minutes. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE FORCING YOURSELF TO LIVE ON??? 15 minutes of the food that keeps your spirit pointed towards Jesus, the armor that prepares you for spiritual battle, the shield that keeps you guarded from the evil that want to rip you apart?!? 15 minutes while you spend the rest of the day working, going to school, and then watching a funny movie on YouTube or talking about nothing with friends.
That's a disgusting fact, and it's why the words "God bless America" and anything that was once sacred in this country when it comes to God is treated as another Santa Claus story. We take this love that changes lives, and modernize it. We give it enough quality time so that we can think about it and do something on the weekends to better improve ourselves. But that's not the whole picture! And we only get it when we push away from everything. We can finally hear Him talking to us, without a filter. And then when we hit this slavery that is our culture, we hang our heads and try to make the best of it.
And then it's a funny thing, when Jesus stops you, when you don't expect it. You're doing something, driving somewhere, and it hits you in the chest, and realize that you more than miss it. You realize how short your breath is, and how all you see is blurry shades of grey. He reaches out his hand, and asks you to come back. Just like He did with Israel, every time they rebelled and did what they wanted. He still blesses you and loves you like He did with them, because He's promised that to us.
So, this was styled in a bit of a rant. That wasn't intentional. But it is what's on my heart right now, and it's not meant to be a guilt trip. But I earnestly hope, and pray, that if you call yourself a Christian, a follower of Christ, that you do listen for His voice everyday.
p.s. - there might be a part 2 to this. I'm feelin it but no promises.
The Old Testament of the Bible is the OG when it comes to God's love and redemption. Jesus brought it down to a more personal level, and threw the deathblow of sin, but God would always redeem His people. God would wait until the last person that still followed Him was out of range, and then He would have some foreign army attack Jerusalem. He would hear and redeem His people when they called out to Him. Anybody's heart that was turned to Him, He would rescue. Now, the question that stands out to me: what does a heart after God look like, and what does it cost?
It says in the Bible that David (son of Jesse, heh heh) was a man after God's own heart. God stated that, knowing exactly what he was saying. David wasn't perfect all the time, he was one of the biggest hypocrites at times. But he would always come back to God, he would never run from Him. He had complete faith in God's plan, and even though he was promised Israel, he held himself back from killing the king that wanted David dead, twice. In his despair and depression, he would cry out mercy to God and still worship with all his heart. You could not hold this man back from praising God. The question in the back of my head is, what did it take?
Look at John the Baptist. Look at all the OT prophets. Look at Jesus. They all would spend time quiet, away from everything they knew. So that they could find the quiet voice, the voice that Elijah was listening for on the mountain. I'm tellin you, those little books they gave out to me when I was 13, called quiet times, I never gave them two blinks of an eye. They're only supposed to last 10, 15 minutes. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE FORCING YOURSELF TO LIVE ON??? 15 minutes of the food that keeps your spirit pointed towards Jesus, the armor that prepares you for spiritual battle, the shield that keeps you guarded from the evil that want to rip you apart?!? 15 minutes while you spend the rest of the day working, going to school, and then watching a funny movie on YouTube or talking about nothing with friends.
That's a disgusting fact, and it's why the words "God bless America" and anything that was once sacred in this country when it comes to God is treated as another Santa Claus story. We take this love that changes lives, and modernize it. We give it enough quality time so that we can think about it and do something on the weekends to better improve ourselves. But that's not the whole picture! And we only get it when we push away from everything. We can finally hear Him talking to us, without a filter. And then when we hit this slavery that is our culture, we hang our heads and try to make the best of it.
And then it's a funny thing, when Jesus stops you, when you don't expect it. You're doing something, driving somewhere, and it hits you in the chest, and realize that you more than miss it. You realize how short your breath is, and how all you see is blurry shades of grey. He reaches out his hand, and asks you to come back. Just like He did with Israel, every time they rebelled and did what they wanted. He still blesses you and loves you like He did with them, because He's promised that to us.
So, this was styled in a bit of a rant. That wasn't intentional. But it is what's on my heart right now, and it's not meant to be a guilt trip. But I earnestly hope, and pray, that if you call yourself a Christian, a follower of Christ, that you do listen for His voice everyday.
p.s. - there might be a part 2 to this. I'm feelin it but no promises.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Grip
Each thought plastered to the wall
Another chance to fall away
This has gotta be the hardest thing I've done
Every time I've been won over
You get the short stick of me
This isn't how it's supposed to be
And the words I say
The good intentions pass away
And leave me open
Broken with nothing
And every time I try
To stand up, I don't know why
You're still standing next to me
You still believe...in me
When I move on from the past
I do it with no regrets
But it takes time to get me there
My momma told me I was patient
But I can only take so much
Of this scarring and bleeding of my life
And the words I say
The good intentions pass away
And leave me open
Broken with nothing
And every time I try
To stand up, I don't know why
You're still standing next to me
You still believe...
...that I can make it, I can weather the storm
You told me so many times before
But I can't move from where I'm standing
You're not understanding what I'm trying to do
You can't say anything to make me
Feel better, but you're still right there
For a shoulder I don't need now
You're always there when the time comes around
When I've given up
When I've had enough
When I hold onto you
When I can accept the truth
And the words I say
The good intentions pass away
And leave me open
Broken with nothing
And every time I try
To stand up, I don't know why
You're still standing next to me
You still believe
In me
Another chance to fall away
This has gotta be the hardest thing I've done
Every time I've been won over
You get the short stick of me
This isn't how it's supposed to be
And the words I say
The good intentions pass away
And leave me open
Broken with nothing
And every time I try
To stand up, I don't know why
You're still standing next to me
You still believe...in me
When I move on from the past
I do it with no regrets
But it takes time to get me there
My momma told me I was patient
But I can only take so much
Of this scarring and bleeding of my life
And the words I say
The good intentions pass away
And leave me open
Broken with nothing
And every time I try
To stand up, I don't know why
You're still standing next to me
You still believe...
...that I can make it, I can weather the storm
You told me so many times before
But I can't move from where I'm standing
You're not understanding what I'm trying to do
You can't say anything to make me
Feel better, but you're still right there
For a shoulder I don't need now
You're always there when the time comes around
When I've given up
When I've had enough
When I hold onto you
When I can accept the truth
And the words I say
The good intentions pass away
And leave me open
Broken with nothing
And every time I try
To stand up, I don't know why
You're still standing next to me
You still believe
In me
Sunday, October 12, 2008
I'm Still Here
The following song/poem was written by John Rzeznik, the lead singer for the Goo Goo Dolls. It's a seriously good song, and it's singin what I'm feelin right now, here's the music video.
I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
Or a moment that's held in your arms And what do you think you'd ever say I won't listen anyway
You don't know me
And I'll never be what you want me to be
And what, do you think you'd understand?
I'm boy, no, I'm a man
You can't take me and throw me away
And how can you learn what's never shown
Yeah, you stand here on your own
They don't know me, cause I'm not here
And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
'Cause I'm not here
And you see the things they never see
All you wanted - I could be
Now you know me and I'm not afraid
And I want to tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man
They can't break me as long as I know who I am
They can't tell me who to be
'Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah, the world is still sleepin' while I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe
And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can you say I'll never change
They're the ones that stay the same
I'm the one now
'Cause I'm still here
I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
They can't tell me who to be
Sunday, October 5, 2008
FREE downloadable music?!? YES PLEASE
So, both my music project and my band are posting free songs on our music players that you can now officially download. Details...
-MY MUSIC: All my songs on my music player will always be free. This I can pretty much guarantee. Go to myspace.com/theredheadmusic to download this free track.
-COREY NITSCHKE EXPERIENCE: No less than 25 minutes ago, we just posted a live version of She Hates Me on our music player. Not only is it good quality for a live recording, it's a song you will totally laugh at. And once again, it is FREE. Go to myspace.com/coreynitschke to download this free track.
Take advantage of this free music people. More to come.
-jesse
-MY MUSIC: All my songs on my music player will always be free. This I can pretty much guarantee. Go to myspace.com/theredheadmusic to download this free track.
-COREY NITSCHKE EXPERIENCE: No less than 25 minutes ago, we just posted a live version of She Hates Me on our music player. Not only is it good quality for a live recording, it's a song you will totally laugh at. And once again, it is FREE. Go to myspace.com/coreynitschke to download this free track.
Take advantage of this free music people. More to come.
-jesse
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Gimmie The Wheel
I've always been a fan of breaking the rules and twisting them to my own ends, generally before I even understand the rules. And then I heard a quote a couple days ago quite contrary of that: "Before you break the rules, you must learn to master them." Sounds like something a ninja would say, and like ninjas it has a point.
Up until this summer I never had a solid plan for my life, never had something that I was gonna follow no matter what. I just knew that I was gonna follow God, and everything else would hopefully fall into place. Well...didn't work out too well. I became extraordinary at being lazy and not doing anything huge with my life. Worked out fine for me, until a couple months ago. Something...just clicked. And now I feel like I've put on an Indiana Jones hat and I'm barreling through life, following this map I've been given. This map, that I didn't have before. I had the motivation, I had the mission, but I didn't have the guidance to move in a specific direction. I couldn't see what I was looking for. And now I've locked on, in pursuit.
And now I find that...I'm not trying to break rules anymore. I'm actually trying to understand, focus on, comprehend them. It's an odd feeling in hindsight. The very thing I was trying to ignore I'm trying to put into practice. It's a type of conforming, but also being original. It's combining what you know is stereotypical, and making it yours, if that makes any sense. Why? I blame it on the next level of maturity. In truth I don't know what it is, but it's an interesting ball of wax. I compare it to this: take the mindset that you've been born with, that you've used up until this point, that was contrary to the general opinion of people, and then try to mutate it into something that people can universally understand, but still retain its own individuality. Heck, I just described growing up. Is that what I'm doing?
Well, there you go. Mama be happy, I'm officially stepping out of the ignorance of teenager-dom. For you readers, stay tuned. There is MUCH in the works right now with this 'growing up' thing. When I'm done dodging through hell and paradise, then I'll give you a summary of what's happened. Until then...God bless.
Up until this summer I never had a solid plan for my life, never had something that I was gonna follow no matter what. I just knew that I was gonna follow God, and everything else would hopefully fall into place. Well...didn't work out too well. I became extraordinary at being lazy and not doing anything huge with my life. Worked out fine for me, until a couple months ago. Something...just clicked. And now I feel like I've put on an Indiana Jones hat and I'm barreling through life, following this map I've been given. This map, that I didn't have before. I had the motivation, I had the mission, but I didn't have the guidance to move in a specific direction. I couldn't see what I was looking for. And now I've locked on, in pursuit.
And now I find that...I'm not trying to break rules anymore. I'm actually trying to understand, focus on, comprehend them. It's an odd feeling in hindsight. The very thing I was trying to ignore I'm trying to put into practice. It's a type of conforming, but also being original. It's combining what you know is stereotypical, and making it yours, if that makes any sense. Why? I blame it on the next level of maturity. In truth I don't know what it is, but it's an interesting ball of wax. I compare it to this: take the mindset that you've been born with, that you've used up until this point, that was contrary to the general opinion of people, and then try to mutate it into something that people can universally understand, but still retain its own individuality. Heck, I just described growing up. Is that what I'm doing?
Well, there you go. Mama be happy, I'm officially stepping out of the ignorance of teenager-dom. For you readers, stay tuned. There is MUCH in the works right now with this 'growing up' thing. When I'm done dodging through hell and paradise, then I'll give you a summary of what's happened. Until then...God bless.
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