I've always been a fan of breaking the rules and twisting them to my own ends, generally before I even understand the rules. And then I heard a quote a couple days ago quite contrary of that: "Before you break the rules, you must learn to master them." Sounds like something a ninja would say, and like ninjas it has a point.
Up until this summer I never had a solid plan for my life, never had something that I was gonna follow no matter what. I just knew that I was gonna follow God, and everything else would hopefully fall into place. Well...didn't work out too well. I became extraordinary at being lazy and not doing anything huge with my life. Worked out fine for me, until a couple months ago. Something...just clicked. And now I feel like I've put on an Indiana Jones hat and I'm barreling through life, following this map I've been given. This map, that I didn't have before. I had the motivation, I had the mission, but I didn't have the guidance to move in a specific direction. I couldn't see what I was looking for. And now I've locked on, in pursuit.
And now I find that...I'm not trying to break rules anymore. I'm actually trying to understand, focus on, comprehend them. It's an odd feeling in hindsight. The very thing I was trying to ignore I'm trying to put into practice. It's a type of conforming, but also being original. It's combining what you know is stereotypical, and making it yours, if that makes any sense. Why? I blame it on the next level of maturity. In truth I don't know what it is, but it's an interesting ball of wax. I compare it to this: take the mindset that you've been born with, that you've used up until this point, that was contrary to the general opinion of people, and then try to mutate it into something that people can universally understand, but still retain its own individuality. Heck, I just described growing up. Is that what I'm doing?
Well, there you go. Mama be happy, I'm officially stepping out of the ignorance of teenager-dom. For you readers, stay tuned. There is MUCH in the works right now with this 'growing up' thing. When I'm done dodging through hell and paradise, then I'll give you a summary of what's happened. Until then...God bless.
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2 comments:
Yea that is you growning. Growning up I don't know how much taller can you get? As for waiting on God sometimes we for get how longs thing take and how fast he does them. It can be either of the other. And sometimes you can do what God wants until you are prepared. Like Indy, he can't go tomb raiding with out knowledge of other cultures. Or his movies would be like south park except Indy always dies.
First, just wow, Jay. South Park...?
Anyway, Jesse, I think it's great that you're growing up. As a man, God gave you this huge responsibility to provide for and raise a family, and growing up is the first step in doing that. So congratulations! lol God bless you and your newly found ambitions.
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