Self-Solitary Confinement

I'm in the middle of self-solitary confinement. There has, and will continue to be a lot of changes in my life until this year is over, and I need some serious time with the Big Guy. But I do have this to say, for me and for you.


The Old Testament of the Bible is the OG when it comes to God's love and redemption. Jesus brought it down to a more personal level, and threw the deathblow of sin, but God would always redeem His people. God would wait until the last person that still followed Him was out of range, and then He would have some foreign army attack Jerusalem. He would hear and redeem His people when they called out to Him. Anybody's heart that was turned to Him, He would rescue. Now, the question that stands out to me: what does a heart after God look like, and what does it cost?

It says in the Bible that David (son of Jesse, heh heh) was a man after God's own heart. God stated that, knowing exactly what he was saying. David wasn't perfect all the time, he was one of the biggest hypocrites at times. But he would always come back to God, he would never run from Him. He had complete faith in God's plan, and even though he was promised Israel, he held himself back from killing the king that wanted David dead, twice. In his despair and depression, he would cry out mercy to God and still worship with all his heart. You could not hold this man back from praising God. The question in the back of my head is, what did it take?

Look at John the Baptist. Look at all the OT prophets. Look at Jesus. They all would spend time quiet, away from everything they knew. So that they could find the quiet voice, the voice that Elijah was listening for on the mountain. I'm tellin you, those little books they gave out to me when I was 13, called quiet times, I never gave them two blinks of an eye. They're only supposed to last 10, 15 minutes. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE FORCING YOURSELF TO LIVE ON??? 15 minutes of the food that keeps your spirit pointed towards Jesus, the armor that prepares you for spiritual battle, the shield that keeps you guarded from the evil that want to rip you apart?!? 15 minutes while you spend the rest of the day working, going to school, and then watching a funny movie on YouTube or talking about nothing with friends.

That's a disgusting fact, and it's why the words "God bless America" and anything that was once sacred in this country when it comes to God is treated as another Santa Claus story. We take this love that changes lives, and modernize it. We give it enough quality time so that we can think about it and do something on the weekends to better improve ourselves. But that's not the whole picture! And we only get it when we push away from everything. We can finally hear Him talking to us, without a filter. And then when we hit this slavery that is our culture, we hang our heads and try to make the best of it.

And then it's a funny thing, when Jesus stops you, when you don't expect it. You're doing something, driving somewhere, and it hits you in the chest, and realize that you more than miss it. You realize how short your breath is, and how all you see is blurry shades of grey. He reaches out his hand, and asks you to come back. Just like He did with Israel, every time they rebelled and did what they wanted. He still blesses you and loves you like He did with them, because He's promised that to us.


So, this was styled in a bit of a rant. That wasn't intentional. But it is what's on my heart right now, and it's not meant to be a guilt trip. But I earnestly hope, and pray, that if you call yourself a Christian, a follower of Christ, that you do listen for His voice everyday.

p.s. - there might be a part 2 to this. I'm feelin it but no promises.