My Sinner's Prayer

in this humble act of worship

i come with heart bowed

my voice silent, my lips no sound

come and teach me in the silence of the roaring clouds

this silence i must break

the separation is too great

for a soul like mine to take

must i anxiously wait for the day i will see Your face?

pain of this human flesh wear on my body

but my soul will not touch the sin coaxed to me

i will hold on to Your letters of Love for me

You will protect me through all my weaknesses

i refuse to let go even for a moment

You have saved me from the curse of man

and offer me life

only if i take Your loving hand

what fool will say no to the Lover of all souls?

the hypocrites of this world can gloat

and quote their ideas of the world

until they choke on their words

they cannot force me to deny the One who creates life!

my anger is strong

but Your Love is the conqueror of all things

here i will hide in worship

until You have pulled me away from it all

and as i rise from my falls

You will be my armor to protect me from harm

to my everlasting God

the God of all the earth

i have pledged my allegiance to You only

and i will serve only You

until i rest with You after my time on earth has expired

be with me

as i give what little i own to You

in this time of worship

mend my ways through my hardships

keep me near as i tell others who need to hear

protect those close that i love

and whisper to those lost in the dark

in everything i do and say

give me wisdom to speak the right way

I wrote this when I was 13

I am ready for summer 2009

So basically the last three summers I've spent in the mountains, which doesn't really have the need for shorts, cause of mosquitos and the lack of real summer heat. So gradually since I had lost the need of shorts, they were consistently put away and forgotten...

It's been freaking HOT the last week, the last couple days it's been around 100 degrees. I've just now finished packing for a trip to Idaho where it's probably even hotter than here in SacTown, and I'm freaking cause all I've got is dark blue jeans and cargo pants.

I'm looking for some extra socks, and I pull out a droor that I haven't touched in awhile, and BAM! I have short pants. After much searching and worrying, I can now rejoice in the fact I will not overheat the summer of 2009.

Alright then, my moment of rejoicing is done with. I have to get up in 3 1/2 hours to drive across four states.

Need tech help...for free?

Since you're probably my friend and reading this...if you ever have a problem with anything techy, let me know. I've now found a fancy new way to help you, without being there :D

End of the circut

Currently my PC has fallen into a state of disrepair. Something like the video card or just as important is causing my entire PC to lock up and die every 30 minutes. The last three years of damage I've inflicted on this thing is now catching up to me, and I have no one to blame for myself....

All I have to say is that I better get another job soon, cause after this PC all I have left to work with is a laptop that is so robust it can't even run YouTube videos. But actually more important than that is that I realize that my world isn't just about technology....no I lied, besides God my life does revolve around technology, there's no fibbing about that.

But more importantly than that, please pray for Jessica. She's now moved up here in Sacramento, and it's really important that she find a job ASAP. Literally, a week. We're praying for an absolute miracle people, that's the only way this can work, so please be praying that she get something very soon.

I hate technology, almost as much as I hate this economy.

I do!

A reminder....

If you go here - www.myspace.com/theredheadmusic - you will see my songs and music stuff posted. Currently I have two new demos, one I just posted 10 minutes ago. To better help my music sound better, give a listen and tell me what you think :)

I wonder

The stereotypical 'friend' is a person that goes out and does things, takes pictures and makes memories, and knows how to have a good time. A stereotypical 'friend' is someone you've known for years and has been there through the thick and thin, making choices you know you'll probably regret when you're 35, and the guy you know will be your best man at your wedding.

I've found stereotypes something not to rely on, I've found stereotypes to be wrong too often. I've also found that as far as true friends go, I've had few and sparse between, three total that I can recall. One of those was a true close friend, the other was my attempt at one, and one turned out to be my half-brother . Over the course of the last 20 years of life, I've also realized that friendship is relative, to yourself and the other person. This is what I've divulged about myself...

I'm the kind of person that will share anything, anything about my life. I will write it all down in a book and hand it to you for free. You can be an absolute jerk to me and everyone else, and I'll be your friend. Why? Cause I'm a sucker like that and I've got too big of a heart. But, the thing that makes you my close friend, is if you can understand me. Truly, I don't understand myself half the time, but that's a different blog. But I find it interesting, that with me feeling free to open my entire life to people, why I haven't had closer friends in the past, and not in the emo sense.

I've realized that as much as I share my life, I avoid commitment to connections. I've wanted to paint a picture to people but not let them buy it. I've become this nomadic person, not because I'm scared of what commitment might bring, but because I see all this amazing variety in people, these amazing differences, and I just can't stay in one place, I want to be close to everybody!

For the longest time I saw this as bad. I thought you had to have a best friend since high school. And now I'm realizing like many other things, I don't have to. Everything comes in time, and if it doesn't come it's not meant to be. It's an odd thing, time is. You never know when it's gonna be right until you know. Anyway, this is my narcissistic speech on what my friendships have vaguely looked like. How bout yours eh, give some feedback.