Understanding the source

Being that in the year 2010 I've gone through so many fundamentally life altering points of life, I'm beginning to become aware, realize, and analyze many things I didn't before, or didn't care to.


I have begun to take time to critically understand, examine and know why things are. What is true Truth? The short answer, for me, is Jesus Christ from the Bible.  But truth cannot break down to exactly one word, case in point: we love to the fullest extent, but there is a time where there is no choice but to pick up a weapon, defend yourself and go to war. You can be the friendliest person in the world, but you can't be friends with everybody in the whole world, it's just not humanely possible. You can go to college and learn for your whole life, but there will always be someone smarter than you in something. There is a source of Truth, but the way it breaks down into situations is something that I never truly sought to understand, as far as mechanics and engineering goes.


I've been asking questions, but not simply why, more like observing them, running over them with my eyes and ears, taking it all in. There are times in my life where I know it is a season to take action, to wave a flag and shout through a loudspeaker. There are times where I go underground to find a secret. There are times when I'm broken and all I can do is exist as my emotions deplete themselves. And, there are times where I use my five senses passively, to observe, understand, and absorb. These times are preparatory for something big that is coming, I know this.


Yet besides the constant and future changes in my life currently happening (gonna be a dad, moving to a completely different state, a solid job with a solid salary), I know there's something else coming. Me and God, we've got this relationship, and as I learn how to hear the rhythm of His heartbeat, I understand more of how and when things are going to happen. It's a very weird thing, and I don't pretend to understand, no I'm not psychic. I knew that I would be thrown to one side of the bus, thrown to the ceiling and then holding onto the bumper for dear life this year, but I feel like there's one more big thing that's yet to come, and then things will generally settle for awhile (how long is awhile? I don't know).




Basically, I'm going to keep my mouth closed for awhile, and just listen.